it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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