Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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