Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize