If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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