'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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