pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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