capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
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All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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