Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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