I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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