I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize