I just saw a hot homeless man
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize