Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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