she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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