It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize