is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
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why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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