Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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