did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
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i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
should my penis look like a turkey
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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