I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
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I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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