HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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