There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize