there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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