He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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