I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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