Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize