It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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