i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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