very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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