i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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