I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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