my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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