I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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