yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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