If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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