I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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