shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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