oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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