The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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