You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize