She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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