Its about making memories worth repressing
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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