you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize