If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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