bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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