Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize