You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize