If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
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all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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