Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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