They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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