someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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