Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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